In My Handicap Era - Five weeks post break and a walk down memory lane
Welcome back to a quick installment of “In My Handicap Era”! I was reflecting on this miniseries this morning and asking myself why I might be documenting this whole thing. And really, I’m just inspired to pen down these thoughts, emotions and my progress during this event in my life, in hopes that one day I can remind myself how far I’ve come. Who knows, I may even be able to help somebody else who may have to face an unfortunate injury, such as I’ve had and if they have to miss out on a big run event like I have, they can find some comfort in my readings. Who knows.
Reporting a little bit of physical progress today. I guess I could’ve made it a few days ago, but I was just on auto pilot last week and didn’t really take too much notice of it until yesterday. For the last several weeks, I have not been able to lift up my right leg or get in and out of bed without pain. That changed a few days ago and I really just didn’t notice. It’s really encouraging after a few weeks of hitting a plateau of no noticeable progress, to be making some progress again. It’s great being able to get in and out of the car also, without having much pain. I say much, because if I do move, or twist on my feet incorrectly, the tendonitis and torn muscle absolutely reminds me that it still exists. But as far as, just general movement such as getting up and down from my seat, or getting in and out of bed, or even stepping up one step to get out of my shower, as of a few days ago, it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Weekends right now are very hard for me mentally. I’m used reflecting on my weekend long run during my quick and easy Monday spin around the neighborhood but instead I'm thinking of things to countdown the next few weeks. I don’t have that right now and it really feels like a part of me is missing. This morning before I got out of bed, I was looking at pictures on Instagram from the Memorial Day 5K that I ran just a few months ago and probably shouldn't have taken that walk down memory lane lol. I still can’t believe I hit such a massive PR time but boy, am I glad I did. I’m glad that the last race I ran was such a triumph. It just really sucks to think about the fact that I was getting so good before all of this happened. I just miss how running was the number one thing that kept my eating issues at bay and now I’m dealing with it solely with strict eating protocol and my limited exercise that I’m able to do. I felt like a lazy piece of shit this week, but with some things that I’ve started to concoct in my head for next year, I’m not going to regret taking it as easy as I have been if it sets me up for success next year.
Did running and racing, take away all the bad feelings that I had about my body? Not exactly. But it made me feel more focused on celebrating what my body could do and not care quite as much about how it looked. My Google pics even reminded me that a year ago today, was day one of the 2023 Tour de Pain where I placed top three in all three races, top second in the cumulative of all three races, and I landed a spot in the top 10 for women overall who raced that weekend. Loved this pics and love how cute my hair was after all that sweat!
I am still, SO proud of the progress that I've made, and that makes taking it easy, just a little easier because I know that it's the amount of 'nothing' that I do that will get me back into my Endorphines sooner. I can’t wait to be back at the start line of a big race. No matter how long that takes, whenever that day comes it won’t be soon enough.
On another note, I'm glad I got some sun on Saturday because there is none to be found for the next few days thanks to Debby lol
Reporting a little bit of physical progress today. I guess I could’ve made it a few days ago, but I was just on auto pilot last week and didn’t really take too much notice of it until yesterday. For the last several weeks, I have not been able to lift up my right leg or get in and out of bed without pain. That changed a few days ago and I really just didn’t notice. It’s really encouraging after a few weeks of hitting a plateau of no noticeable progress, to be making some progress again. It’s great being able to get in and out of the car also, without having much pain. I say much, because if I do move, or twist on my feet incorrectly, the tendonitis and torn muscle absolutely reminds me that it still exists. But as far as, just general movement such as getting up and down from my seat, or getting in and out of bed, or even stepping up one step to get out of my shower, as of a few days ago, it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Weekends right now are very hard for me mentally. I’m used reflecting on my weekend long run during my quick and easy Monday spin around the neighborhood but instead I'm thinking of things to countdown the next few weeks. I don’t have that right now and it really feels like a part of me is missing. This morning before I got out of bed, I was looking at pictures on Instagram from the Memorial Day 5K that I ran just a few months ago and probably shouldn't have taken that walk down memory lane lol. I still can’t believe I hit such a massive PR time but boy, am I glad I did. I’m glad that the last race I ran was such a triumph. It just really sucks to think about the fact that I was getting so good before all of this happened. I just miss how running was the number one thing that kept my eating issues at bay and now I’m dealing with it solely with strict eating protocol and my limited exercise that I’m able to do. I felt like a lazy piece of shit this week, but with some things that I’ve started to concoct in my head for next year, I’m not going to regret taking it as easy as I have been if it sets me up for success next year.
Did running and racing, take away all the bad feelings that I had about my body? Not exactly. But it made me feel more focused on celebrating what my body could do and not care quite as much about how it looked. My Google pics even reminded me that a year ago today, was day one of the 2023 Tour de Pain where I placed top three in all three races, top second in the cumulative of all three races, and I landed a spot in the top 10 for women overall who raced that weekend. Loved this pics and love how cute my hair was after all that sweat!
On another note, I'm glad I got some sun on Saturday because there is none to be found for the next few days thanks to Debby lol
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