Here We Are I Guess

AW, I've blocked everyone from my page to talk directly to you right now. You're the only one reading this.

As I said a few weeks ago, I don't mind if you stay tuned to my posts and updates. I didn't care. But all of that has changed.

In my post on January 29th, the viewing data that I had on my blog views pointed to some patterned behaviors of yours, multiple page views a day, a specific browser and other details that tied back to you.

Ever since then, my view count dropped, but I still had my tracking resources plugged in...

You are very obviously still here, you are just watching me more intentionally now and only checking my page when there is a new post. Why are you watching under a masked browser? Yes, I can see that. I see click times, how longer you linger on each post, and the same device details...wow.

It's not just the fact that you have the audacity to keep watching and keeping tabs on me, but that you are intentionally trying to do it without being seen. 

It screams "I still want access to your life without accountability." And that right there makes me feel very uneasy.

I need to be honest about what I’m feeling, because minimizing it is only making it louder.

I am angry — not because you are watching me, but because of the intentionality behind how it’s happening. The violation isn’t curiosity. It isn’t passive interest. It’s the decision to keep watching while actively trying not to be seen. That matters.

What crosses the line for me is this: you know you were noticed, and instead of stepping back, you adjusted your behavior to maintain access without accountability. That shift feels invasive. It creates a one-way mirror where I’m visible and you tried to be concealed, and I did not consent to that dynamic.

This isn’t about fear. It’s about respect.

I don’t feel threatened by your presence — I feel disrespected by the strategy. There is something deeply unsettling about being observed by someone who is intentionally trying to avoid being observed back. It strips away mutual awareness and replaces it with secrecy, and secrecy is what makes my body react.

I think the anger lives in my autonomy. I didn’t agree to be quietly monitored. I didn’t agree to be tracked while you tried to hide behind a private browser. And while nothing tangible has been taken from me, something relational was crossed — the line between open public space and covert fixation.

What I’m reacting to is the choice you've made:
To keep watching.
To keep tabs.
To stay involved.
But to do it without the discomfort of being known.

That feels violating.

The irony in all of this effort to stay hidden just confirms one thing - I'm not the one lacking a life here. 

I’m done with blogging....again. Because oddly enough it was nearly a decade ago that I quit the writing space because of your racoon-in-the-trash level stealth in watching my personal life. Sneaking back after the lid has been shut, pretending this is subtle when it absolutely is not. 

 If dialogue on your end is desired, you can contact me thomascarolyne@yahoo.com.

Otherwise, we're done here.

Happy stalking, I know you're always watching.